rules to remember-just trust me!

We have had a great weekend, well technically it is only half-way over...but I am having a lovely Sunday morning.  Breakfast blend coffee in hand, hot blueberry muffins to feed the masses, and my husband is drawing in the sunlight; working on the same charcoal drawing that he was working on last night. He slept somewhere in between, but not nearly as much as me. (I didn't feel that great when I went to bed last night, but 12 hours of sleep later I am feeling MUCH better. YAY!)

We decided to take road trip yesterday. We heard there was an IKEA close by; just outside of Cincinnatti! We decided to make the trek to just browse and have a fun day. I am so glad we went because the further south we drove, the sunnier and warmer it got. When we left Columbus it was 28 degrees and gray, when we got to Cincinnattit it was 48 and SUNNY! Woo-Hoo! That is a major difference just 90 miles later. I took off my down coat, reached for my sunglasses (that I haven't worn since last September!) and rolled my sleeves up to soak in the rays of sunshine in hopes treating my severely Vitamin D deficient state. It was great!

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IKEA.was.packed. PACKED. For what it's worth I want to take the time to write out a few crucial rules for my readers that don't have kids yet. If you already have children, then you will know these rules to be true. Feel free to add a few of your own in the comments section. We will never make it through this adventure called parenthood without a few diehard rules to guide us and lead us.

Read the following and remember them. Keep these rules close to your heart, as they may prevent you from having an anxiety attack on a random road trip to IKEA one day. I'm not saying, that's what happened to me yesterday, I'm just saying...

Rule #1. There is no such thing as browsing when you have kids in tow. My kids like lists. They want to see me check things off the list as we shop, so that they can guesstimate how long we will be in any given store. It drove them bonkers, that I did NOT have a list. Browsing is a foreign concept to kids.

Rule #2: Do not own just one I-TOUCH. We have just ONE. They are forever arguing over time limits, and how much time the other has left to spend on the I-TOUCH before it is their turn. I may have considered throwing the I-TOUCH out the window on I-71 SOUTH a couple dozen times during this particular road trip, but I'll never say one way or the other.  Buy two. Yes, they are expensive, consider it an investment. A good investment. Just trust me on this one.

Rule #3: NEVER, EVER ask the kids what they want for lunch, (Yes, I may be talking directly to my husband here! If I've told you once, I've told you a gazillion times, DON'T ASK THEM, JUST DECIDE!) They will BOTH say someplace different and completely opposite just to disagree with each other. Chidlren are contrary. It is just their nature. And then it will quickly spiral downward into a hostile arguement that never, ever ends well. I always decide on a place I know we all love, avoid the argument, and everyone eats happily ever after. Or else! It does not work if you ask for their opinions! Trust me.

If you follow the above rules, you will drastically increase the actual likelihood of having a fun roadtrip. We did have a good time, but I still felt inclined to share some of these lessons I learned along the way. I also want to share some random comments that made the trip worth it. Being stuck in a car with two inquisitive kids leads to some interesting conversations in our family. Random comments/questions like....

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 Mom, where do eye boogers come from?   What song should I sing when I try out for American Idol? and don't you just love Steven Tyler?    Dad, did you know Richard Nixon had a dog named Checkers?   What do 11 year old girls want for Valentine's Day anyway?  What's is Simon Cowell up to these days?  Is he unemployed like you, Mom?  Mom, when you were little, what did you want to be when you grow up? Cause I can't decide between a gymnast, a veterinarian, or a dentist. Or a chef?! Or a famous singer?!  Does everyone's poots smell different? Did you know Japan and China are mortal enemies and I happen to agree with Japan on this one?!

 Ummm, ok....Ummmm LOL, Ummmm random?! Each and every one of these comments made me pause and wonder where in the world they come up with these things. They also made me look over at Chris as we were driving and smile. When our eyes met, I  knew we were both thinking the same thing. We are so thankful for our children...and for the moments that make us smile wayyyy deep down inside. We also realize that thankfully, these random, magical, little moments far outnumber the (few and far-between) moments where you just want to strangle them in the middle of the storage solutions aisle of IKEA. Trust me.