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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Can I Get a "Do-Over"?

Yesterday was that kinda day. It started by one of my sweet chidren spilling 1/2 gallon of sweet tea on the kitchen floor and their way of saying they were sorry was,
"Well, you were gonna mop anyway, right?!"
Yes, it was Dylan. He is the master of sarcasm lately, and it is driving me bonkers. Then, I got complaints when I decided we would go to the pool. Who doesn't like the pool? Sheesh.

It was the kinda day where I could not win for losing, we butted heads all day long. I lost my temper. He lost his and talked back to the point where it was completely justified if I knocked his teeth out of his mouth. I would never do that,  but I remember my Mom saying that to me when I was little. (*gasp!)  Could it be that I too was a sarcastic, dry, smart allecky 10 year old at one point? Dylan is sooo much like his Daddy, but he got some qualities from me too.  Does this child look like he could drive anyone crazy?

I love this sweet face. Dylan really is the most sensitive and tender-hearted child I have ever met. He is also extremely pensive, perceptive and wise beyond his years. Today, he was less sweet, and more like this...

He tested me in everyway possible, and I have to admit that I did not handle things in the best way. I got frustrated several times. Even hollered. He called me "grumpy", and I knew I was. Bad Mommy Award goes to me.

I could've handled things differently, but I was having a bad day. We needed to have a talk.One-on-one. I asked him why I have had to correct his behavior over and over and over again today. Dylan says,
"I am very sensitive to feelings and when you are scared, I am scared and when you are grumpy, I am grumpy. And when you are nervous, I am nervous and then I act that way"
Let's see.....this is all I was thinking about yesterday, so yes I guess you could say I was not in the best spirits either.
  • I am scared about the house not selling.
  • I am grumpy about the pitiful offer the relocation company gave us.
  • I am nervous about the possibility of Chris having to be away from his family for longer than we thought.
So, Dylan and I talked more, and we made a pact that today would be a better day. I feel better today. I feel thankful that I have this week to spend with the kids.

Next week, I start Internal Med and it will be a very trying couple of months. I need to enjoy this time with them now, and worry less. Dylan was still punished for his behavior, and I am sure he will miss his XBOX360 dearly, but in the meantime we will be spending time together and I think that is what he needed most anyway.

Kids can teach their parents a lesson at times. We just need to listen. While, I can't have a "do-over" for yesterday, I can promise that today will be a better day.
While we try to teach our children all about life, Our children teach us what life is all about. ~Angela Schwindt

Sunday, June 27, 2010

A Love Story

We recently celebrated our 11th anniversary, but we did not get to spend the day together. :(

Chris and I made up missing our anniversary by having a picnic of our favorite Indian take-out on the living room floor the next Sunday night. The kiddos were at grandma's. :) It was perfect.

Today, Chris sent me this video (all the way from OH) and made me cry. Some background first:  Long story short...We did everything backwards. Way back in June of 1999 we decided on a Wednesday that we would get married that Saturday.

We had no money. Nowhere to live. No dress. No rings. Nothing but all the love in the world.  Our family stepped to the plate and helped us plan everything, put together a ton of food, found a dress that fit me perfectly (which was a challenge), got chairs from the church, an uncle volunteered to videotape it, and everyone said alot of prayers along the way that this *crazy, young* couple would last. Because the odds sure were stacked against us!

(Unfortunately, the tape that our dear Uncle taped had awful sound quality and did not have US on it that much! LOL~We were just grateful to have the video even if it wasn't perfect.)

So, this morning Chris decided to "fix" the video. And now I get to share it with you.

11 years later we are still smiling like that. Happy Anniversary, Chris! I love you. You are my best friend, and I am so glad we were crazy and young in love...and decided to follow our hearts.

p.s. Yes, Dylan was there with us too.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

The Road Not Taken

This morning, I've been thinking alot about decisions we make in life...sometimes it's the difficult decisions that you make along the way that end up being for the best. It is so hard to see the truth in that when you are in the middle of a trying time in your life, but later on when the dust settles it becomes clear.  You will be able to see that it really was the right decision. Even when you feel lost...when your faith in shaken, you just have to trust that you made the right choice.  Eventually you will see that the hard times were worth it and that you were heading in the right direction all along.

This has always been one of my favorite poems.
The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same, 

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back. 

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
~Robert Frost

Friday, June 25, 2010

Do you want the good news or the bad news?

So, good news first! I am done D-O-N-E, DONE! with my 2nd rotation. It was great and proved to be another wonderful learning experience (despite having the tough resident there intimidating me along the way). As the month went on, and I continued to prove myself, she slowly but surely warmed up to me. I guess “killing someone with kindness” really works!

Today, I had my final evaluation and got feedback from the preceptor and from the resident. He said my “thought process was perfect”. WHAT?! She said they calculated everything after grading me on the 50 different objectives for the month and my grade came to a 89.2%~a B! I fell short of an A by 0.3 points?! NO!…..sheesh!

Oh well, I was ready to accept that and move on, but then she continued talking. She said “We both agreed that you are an A student, and you deserve an A! It was a joy to have you here for the month.” WHAT?!

I can’t believe those nice words, let along COMPLIMENTS, were coming out of her mouth. YAY! I got an A! Two rotations down, 7 to go till I am done with school! Yay!

The not so good news…this week proved to very disheartening on several levels. We are in the midst of the federal relocation process due to Chris’ job, and to put it nicely, it has been one headache after another. We’ve had 3 appraisals, and I can’t tell you how hard I worked to have the house, yard, and everything in tip-top-shape for these appraisals. Not an easy job to do by yourself.

We got the final #s back today, and they appraised our house to be worth $20,000 less than what we bought it for four years ago…..I know the market stinks right now…but we can’t take a loss on this house and have nothing to put into the next house. It was so sad to hear the numbers and then even more discouraging to do the math.

Now, we have to adjust our listing price to their numbers, or we are OUT of the relocation program. Not fair! Initially, I was extremely upset. Then, I was mad. Now, I don’t know how to feel. I think I am numb, because this has proven to be such a long, tough process. Chris and I are both tired. We want our family back together.It's safe to say that we are both terribly discouraged. We have been living in two different cities for 10+ months now. Enough!

Our house has been on the market 80 days now…and we have not had any offers and only 9 showings….not a lot of traffic.

I am trying to just hang in there…but I am falling short. I am trying to keep things as “normal” as possible for the kids…and I fear that I am falling short there as well. I strive to stay optimistic, to remain hopeful that everything will work out, and know that all the "details" will fall into place. However, this week I fell short.
“When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always be worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad they have to get better.”

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

My husband's long lost twin brother?

Christiano Rinaldo

Gotta love SOCCER! Except, I don't really. But, everyone is watching it right now, and I guess it is really quite exciting. In some ways. ; )

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Bend it like Karsen

If you can't find Karsen in her room reading
chances are you can find her in the backyard...

bending or

flipping or

cartwheeling or

kicking or

striking a pose
a la' Karsen.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

"Thank You" seems so inadequate

So much has been going on lately, too much really!

The kids had their last day of school, and fortunately I got off of work early and was able to go pick them up myself. It was an emotional day for me, because it was their last day at their school and I'm really going to miss the teachers, students and fellow parents there. The kids had mixed emotions as well. We really will miss their school.

Last day of 5th grade for Dylan  

Last day of 2nd grade for Karsen 

It's been quite a year!

We will miss our carpool crew and singing all the way to school...

and the faces Dylan would make when the girls sang too many Justin Bieber songs...

Dylan finished the year so strong. He passed all of End-of-Grade (EOG) exams "with flying colors" (his teacher's words, not mine!), and I was so proud of him. His teacher was wonderful this year. I have never emailed and communicated with a teacher as much as I did this year with Mrs. F. She was awesome. She helped us through a very trying year and was so patient with Dylan. She told me that she felt a "special connection" with Dylan and our whole family and really wants to stay in touch with us.

THANK YOU, Mrs. F! We will miss you!

We also felt so blessed that Karsen had Mrs. L for 2nd grade. Dylan also had her in the 2nd grade, and we just love her to pieces. I cried when we hugged. She was also wonderful in every aspect this year. I know we will also keep in touch with her after we move.

THANK YOU, Miss L. We will all miss you!

"Thank you" seems so inadequate when you want to express how grateful you are to have such wonderful teachers that taught our children so much this year... and did it with love.

A good teacher is like a candle - it consumes itself to light the way for others.        ~Author Unknown

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Proving myself...Rotation 2: Ambulatory Care

Hey everyone!
It has been a while since I posted. Just wanted to say hi and let you know I am hard at work on Rotation #2, Ambulatory Care. It has been a busy month so far. It is always tricky coming into a new place, meeting new people, figuring out how they "prefer" things to be done, and then trying to get a hang of things.

This month is at a doctor's office near Raleigh. They see adults only and manage chronic disease states like diabetes, hyperlipidemia, hypertension, atrial fibrilation...conditions that require meds each day, but the people are not sick enough to be in the hospital. So far, it seems to be a great office, and the pharmacist there is awesome.

He has a resident pharmacist too who graduated two years ago, and she is responsible for most of our "learning" this month. She is a very tough person to learn from. Unfortunately, it has been quite stressful, and most mornings I go in with this pit of anxiety in my stomach because I don't know what to expect from her on any given day. It is almost like her goal each day is to remind us of just how much we DON'T know. I have another student with me, and she is even harder on him than she is on me. Yesterday this is the question that had me stuttering...

I presented a patient that was 63 yo male who had uncontrolled diabetes on his current regimen. I made my recommendations based on what medications he has tried in the past, his current renal function, and what our blood glucose goals were for him at this time. I went through this whole spill and thought I had done a pretty good job presenting the patient. At the end she asks me several question about the medications, their side effects, how they are metabolized, and why the patient could not take certain medications due to his failing kidney function. I knew the answers! Then she says' " How do we know his pancreas is secreting any insulin at all? How do we know if his beta cells are completely burnt out at this point? What lab can we run to assess his insulin secretion now?"

This was my reply: "Ummmmmm, duhhhhhh, wellllllllll, uhhmmmmmmmmmmmm?!" Then I finally had to say those dreaded words, "I don't know." She says "C-peptide" and then gives me the most evil smile ever.

I won't say what thoughts went through my head at that time...I will say that I bit my tongue, and fire may have shot out of my ears. :) Anyway, I am working hard trying to prove myself, and tomorrow is another day! I need a hug. Thanks for listening to me vent.

Thursday, June 3, 2010


They met the 1st day of school and have been best friends ever since.

Kindergarden field trips... 

taking family trips to the beach...

singing together in Christmas plays... 

celebrating birthdays together....

and screaming together at Taylor Swift concerts.

..a little bit of fighting along the way
(cause girls will be girls)
a ton of laughing at the silliest of things 
and finally, growing up (way too fast) 
Karsen loves her best friend, Austin.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

It takes a village to raise a child

I am so thankful for my brother, Wesley....

and to for my big sis, Suzanne....

for helping me so much with the kids this past month.

Aunt Suzy has picked the kids up from school,
made their breakfast, made their beds,
 fixed afterschool snacks, made "Mommy-esque"homework threats,
gone grocery shopping and has likely almost gone crazy...
but she has done this with a happy heart.

Uncle Wesley has come by to infuse some much-needed testosterone
into the house for Dylan's sake.
They have played XBOX360 and talked about comic books,
and have eaten a ton of pizza and popcorn in the meantime.
Ya know, things Momma can't do.

I really couldn't have made it through the last month
without my family's help!


Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Hello, SuMmEr!

We were so happy to celebrate the "unofficial" start of SuMmEr this past Memorial Day weekend.

Nothing says SUMMER more than....lollipops, ice cream, and sunshine!

Deciduous Heather