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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Taking everything into consideration

On this wild and crazy exciting Wednesday night...just what is our family up to?

I am watching/listening to Karsen "cook" in the kitchen, and I just heard her talking to her "Cooking with Karsen" audience saying "Now, we want a little dash of sugar, and I ain't talking trash people, I'm talking about a dash." LOL She definitely has her own unique style. Moments like that make me smile...

Dylan is in his room playing the XBOX360. He loves it, but I don't really like him playing it on the weekdays. Today I let him bend that rule a little....What can I do though? I really need to study, and he really loves to play the games. He did his homework, and had a somewhat healthy supper, so I am pretty much ahead of the game. (can we say mommy guilt??)  2 out of 3 ain't bad considering....he would have been content eating a whole bags of Doritos and wouldn't have argued with me.  10 year old boys really aren't hard to please when it comes to food as long as they get ALOT of it about every 3 hours. :)

As for me, I am sitting here watching an Aminoglycoside dosing lecture I missed during the snow days we had. Fun stuff! Specifically, (cause I know you are dying to know this...) I am calculating renal function to determine an appropriate dose and dosing interval for a 22 year old IV drug user. Can you even stand how exciting that sounds? lol~If I am being honest...I am not liking school right now. I am still trying to shake off the discouragement of my last bad grade two weeks ago, and then the exam I took last week I really felt that I put forth an "A" effort. I REALLY studied and felt great about the material, (all ~670 powerpoint slides of it~ouch!!) but I got my grade today. I was dissapointed/devastated yet again. But I passed, I guess I should count it a victory considering... how crazy things have been lately.

So, here I sit, studying....instead of watching the Olympics or American Idol that I DVRed from last night. After all, there are only 8.5 weeks of classroom time left for me, and I sure as heck-fire DO NOT want to have to repeat this module. So, I will be sitting here studying for the rest of the night. Short-term sacrifice..long-term gain, right?? 
I keep telling myself that I am doing a good job considering.....Even when I feel like I'm not.

Considering  the fact that Chris has been gone since August....and considering the fact that I don't handle change well and CHANGE is the only thing that has been consistent the last 6 months~!
AND considering the fact I am not used to being a single Mommy...and it sure is hard work. I am doing a good job holding it together.

I also try to repeatedly remind myself that for so many years all I wanted was the opportunity to go back to school, prayed that all the details would fall into place so I could do just that...and they did....I knew I could be doing more and it all worked out for me to do just that.....I knew that becoming a Pharmacist would be a tough road...so I know I am doing ok considering.....the fact that this was never going to be easy.

And considering the fact that I really AM living my dream. Considering the fact that I am sitting here with two healthy children playing happily around me,  in our warm home, missing a man that loves me dearly, but he is away from us because he has a new job that he is so excited about, thankful that he has JOB period right now when so many people don't, and considering the fact that we have everything we need when so many people are going without...

We are pretty, plentifully BLESSED if you consider all that, huh?!

(It really does help to PAUSE and count your blessings every once in a while.)
Sigh, I really do feel better...now let's see if I can help my 22 year old patient....

Back to studying gentamycin, amikacin, and tobramycin dosing!!

1 comment:

Foursons said...

Some classes just aren't going to come easily. Of course we all love to make A's, but I had some classes that I took what I could get and ran with it. And if that meant a "C", so be it. I passed and I was out. I venture to guess you are not the only one struggling in this class.

Don't feel guilty about the kiddos. They are old enough to entertain themselves (and even feed themselves if necessary) and they know how hard mom is working to improve herself. That speaks volumes- much more than XBOX on a school night.

And as with all things...this too shall pass. You will be a better woman for it when it is all over. Keep on keepin' on.

Deciduous Heather