a heavy heart

I am so sorry I have been quiet lately. I have alot to say, but no energy to put it into words. I am emotionally exhausted. Torn between two worlds right now. Feeling helpless. Wishing I could make things all better. Knowing all I can do is pray.

My sister, Suzanne, is 8 days post-op from a major surgery. She is currently in Baltimore, MD, recovering from complete abdominal wall repair. I know I have talked about this a bit here on my blog. As a reminder, she was born with a congenital birth defect of the abdominal wall called gastroschisis.

This last surgery was her 15th. She had major complications after her 14th surgery 12 years ago. In short, it never fully healed and she has been dealing with two openings in her stomach for the past 12 years. This most recent surgery was one that UNC and Duke University hospitals opted NOT to do due to the level of complexity and the (I quote) "a great possibility of making a bad situation much worse". I went with her to Johns Hopkins Hopsital this past May for a 3rd opinion. They agreed to push ahead and operate this Fall. She was happy, relieved, reluctant, and scared. But she decided to go ahead and let them operate.

She had her surgery on Thursday, October 6th, and what was thought to likely be a 14-18 hour surgery lasted only 9 hours. She was amazed when she woke up to find that it was still Thursday.

Her next few days were a blur of pain, fever, pain, nausea and pain. She started out with 6 tubes in various locations of her body right after surgery.

She is now at day 8 post-op of what was thought to be a 7-14 day hospitalization. She is now down to 3 tubes. That's sounds like progress, however she is still not out of the weeds. She has had several setbacks. Today the big concern was the tube on the right side of her abdomen is having increased, foul output. Her abdomen and back have also started swelling, and are red and sore to touch. THIS IS NOT GOOD. Going back into surgery at this point would be devastating.

I am asking for prayer. She is so strong and tough. She has barely complained through all of this. Our whole family was able to go there last weekend, but this weekend I sit here in Ohio wishing I could be there with her, wishing I could help, wishing I could do something.....

Please pray that this new issue resolves without surgery. Please pray that the mega-antibiotics they started take care of this. Please pray that the TPN (nutrition through IVs) gives her strength to fight through this. Please pray that she has complete healing. Please pray that her new abdominal wall holds strong and does cause any lung issues as well. This is new territory for her and new territory for her surgical team as they decide how to proceed. Please pray for wisdom for them. Please pray for my Mom as well who has been there with her 24-7 through all of this. I know she is exhausted.

My sister is my best friend, one of the few people I talk to every single day. She was the strong one who moved in with us, when Chris moved to VA and then to OH two years ago for his new job.

She was my rock then, and right now I wish I could be her's right now.  She supported us through one of the toughest times in our lives. The last few days she has been too weak to talk on the phone, and I miss her so much. My heart is so heavy knowing what she has already been through and that she still has alot of fighting left to do. If anyone can do it, I know she can.

Please pray that she has a better day tomorrow...and the next day and the next. I will keep you posted.