around here

We are doing our best to stay warm around here. This week was filled with snow, and LOTS of it! The kids have only been to school one day this week, and I have serious doubts that they will be going tomorrow. We are watching a lot of Netflix and cooking all kinds of fun things. Here are few pics of the fam playing in the snow.

 

 

 

Of course, just because they had a snow day didn't mean I got to stay home from work. BOO! It took me two hours to get to work yesterday and two hours to get home. That does not make for a happy Momma. When I got home, I didn't know whether to cuss or cry, I was so stressed out. I decided to not do either one, instead I ate a yummy dinner that included homemade biscuits! Thanks, to my hubby for taking good care of me.  I am SO happy that I did not have to work today.

In other news, Chris' Dad is still in the hospital. He has been at Duke for 10 1/2 weeks now. YEP. Isn't that crazy? It really does feel like forever. He has a long road ahead of him, and he has been such a fighter. This last week he was treated for another aspiration pneumonia, but thankfully he is doing much better after 5 days of IV antibiotics. We are praying he gains weight, builds up his strength, and will be ready for one more surgery in the next month or so. I would love for him to be able to go home soon. That is the one thing he asks for the most. Chris is there visiting with him today. The flu season really forced Duke to tighten up on their visitation policy, so sadly he can't see the kids right now. :(

Karsen had her Winter Strings concert last month. It was so much fun, and I am really happy I forced her   she decided to continue with the violin and orchestra as her elective again this year. Her orchestra teacher's comments on her last report card read "she is extremely conscientious". Yes, she is! Honestly, she really loves it too, especially now that they are learning more challenging techniques.

Here are few pictures from concert night. She had to wear all black, but she did get away with a little flower in her hair.

 

This is her, "Mom, you aren't going to sit there and take pictures the whole time are you?" look. LOL

 

Aunt Suzy came to watch, and she was even sweet enough to buy Karsen's concert outfit. Thanks, Aunt Suzy! Check out her lace tights in the picture below. Not sure if Momma would have bought those. ;) Check out the laced back.

 

 

 

My Dad was even able to surprise her and watched the concert too.  :)  It was a fun night!

 

Well, the natives kids are getting restless. They definitely have cabin fever, but I am not braving the roads today--we are staying HOME! I have potato soup in the crockpot for later. Yum! Dylan is watching an X-files marathon, and I have promised Karsen she can "do my make-up". Oh my. :) Hope you are enjoying this cold, winter day too!

"heart and soul" for Gabby

Here's a part of one of the songs the kids played for their Gabby yesterday in the Duke Hospital lobby.

a different kind of holiday

Well, a very belated Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from all of us!

This holiday season was a little different for us. We didn't send out cards. I didn't get a lot of time off work, and it was just different for several reasons. The biggest reason was Chris' Dad has been sick and has been at Duke University Hospital for the past 8 weeks. He has spent 5 1/2 of those weeks in the ICU, and it has been a very heart-wrenching, roller-coaster of emotions past 2 months.



Dylan first fishing trip with Gabby ~2003

Chris' dad's voice started changing over 2+ years ago. He started sounding hoarse for no reason. It was a gradual sort of change, some days you noticed  and some days you didn't. Then it got worse. Fast forward to November 2013, and he one night he started having trouble breathing. He ended up in the ER on a Thursday night, and they asked him to follow up with an ENT. The next Monday he went to the ENT, and he didn't go home after that.

Apparently, his airway was almost completely blocked with what we now know was a stage 4 squamous cell throat carcinoma mass. Throat cancer. He was airlifted to Duke and then proceeded to have 5+ surgeries and procedures over the next 6 weeks. The most invasive was the tracheotomy that was followed by a complete laryngectomy.  His hospital stay has been littered with multiple complications. He developed HIT; heparin induced thrombocytopenia. His platelets were as low as 6,000 at one point. The normal platelet count is usually ~400,000+. This complication put him at risk for spontaneous life-threatening bleeding. That was a scary week. He also had a couple bouts of pneumonia, feeding tube placement, feed tube issues, an ileus, a half-dozen aspiration events, and he now has a large hole in between his esophagus and windpipe that we are praying will heal.

He has been such a fighter. He has day when his spirits are so low, and then he has days where he perks up and you are just awe-struck with his strength and perseverance when he gives you that "thumbs up". Chris has been at the hospital almost each day since Nov 18th. We spent Thanksgiving night and Christmas Day there. His Mother has barely left the hospital at all. It has been such a difficult time for everyone.

Gabby and James, our nephew 2013

Yesterday, we went to visit Gabby, which is what we call Chris' Dad. Dylan was the first grand-child and he had a hard time saying 'granddaddy'. It came out as Gabby, and before we knew it everyone was called him Gabby. It just stuck, and now all the grandkids call him Gabby!

Yesterday was a good day. He was able to leave his room via wheelchair, and we took him up to the top floor and watched a helicopter take off. We went to the 5th floor and looked at the massive pediatric wing fish tank. Then we went down to the lobby, and the kids played him a little piano. He was so happy to see the kids for the first time in a couple of weeks. The hospital really tightened up on their visitation policy due to flu season.

Dylan being shy at first, in the hospital lobby

 Dylan has had his eye on the pretty piano in the main floor hospital lobby since the first visit in November. Yesterday, he got brave enough to take a seat. He got a little more comfortable when Karsen joined him. Gabby was so happy to be out of his room, and he didn't realize it was Dylan and Karsen playing the piano until he came around the corner. His face was so happy. It was a special  moment. My mother-in-law captured it on video. Hopefully I will be able to post it here soon.

Here's hoping 2014 is full of health and happiness for you all! One of my 2014 resolutions is to do more of the things I LOVE. Including blogging... :) (was that my resolution last year too?)

twelve

Happy birthday, Karsen! You are TWELVE! (?!?!?!) One more year until you are officially a teen, however the teenage angst is already here in our house daily! Sixth grade. Middle school. Things are a' changing!

Just yesterday we went shopping, and we did not agree on a shirt. You loved it, and I hated it. You said "Don't dull my sparkle, Mom". LOL I cracked up. It hurt my feelings for a second, and then it just made me laugh. I think this is foreshadowing of the years that are to come.

As IF anyone could dull your sparkle...

You loved performing in the 5th grade play last year, but you refuse to let me record you singing! You love to sing even more than you did when you were little. BUT you refuse to sing on command. Absolutely not. Only when you want to of course!

 

This is my favorite pic of you from this past summer.

This year you loved soccer, and you decided maybe you didn't want to do gymnastics anymore. That was tough for me to swallow, but I realized I just wanted you to have fun no matter which sport you chose. And you happened to have quite a foot on you when it came to soccer. Yay!

 

 

You don't believe in Santa anymore. And you said this would probably be the last year you dressed  up for Halloween.

 

 

However, you have fleeting moments when are definitely still your Daddy's little girl.

 

 

Funny enough, you are probably the person in our house with the MOST common sense, and I love that about you.  Math is your favorite class in school and this last report card you made all A's, with averages higher than 97% in each subject. The Principal's List. So proud.

 

You are definitely in between. You now raid my closet, and find things that I don't tend to wear or I'd forgotten were in there. On your birthday Dad took you shopping and you decided you did not want hot chocolate, you wanted a hot caramel mocha latte. Dad took this picture of you in my scarf  :) with your big girl coffee. Oh my. Be still my heart. Slow down, sweet girl.

 

 

Yep, times are a' changin'. Not so much a little girl anymore. At this last pediatrician appointment for 11/12 year old well check-up you were:

 

Height-62 inches or 5 foot 2 in at 90% height on growth chart

Weight- 90 lbs or 40% weight on growth chart

(yes, you gained 20 lbs in the last year!) WOW!

We are very close to being the same size in most clothes suddenly!

 

And here is your 6th grade, middle school school pic!

 

Happy 12th birthday, Karsen Grace!

Karsen, you are a light in our lives. I love your spirit and your quiet (and sometimes not so quiet) strength and determination. We love you to the moon and back! Don't ever let anyone dull your sparkle! Love, Mom


Looking back over the years....
eleven
ten
nine
eight
 

fourteen

 

Happy 14th birthday to our first born.

We can not believe you are 14, Dylan!

You are such a daily joy in our lives. Your quick wit and sarcasm still make us laugh (and sometime shake our heads) every.single.day.of.our.lives. Sometimes I am just blown away by your insightfulness. You truly are an old soul. Check out your "Save Ferris" shirt. Clearly you are several decades ahead of your time.

 

 

Marching to the beat of your own drum is something you do with ease now. No worries about what anyone else thinks. Your confidence has grown by leaps and bounds in the last few years. And that makes my heart happy.

Glasses were a new look for you this past year. At the end of 8th grade you happened to mention that "sometimes no matter where you sit in class, you can't see"! I got you in to the doctor within a few weeks and was shocked to find out you were blind! The glasses took care of that though, and I think they just add to your charm. Rather Clark Kent-esque if you don't mind my saying. :)

Your recent 13/14 year old stats at the pediatrician's appointment were:

Height- 73 inches, or  6 foot 1 in tall and 95% on growth chart

Weight- 118 lbs or 50% on growth chart  

Tall and skinny.

It goes without saying that it is truly a challenge to find blue jeans that fit right now. Sigh.

You are our resident movie critic and pop culture connoisseur. One of your favorite movies all time is "Pan's Labyrinth" directed by Guillermo del Torro.  One of the things you asked for your birthday was a painting of the fawn from the movie. Your Dad surprised you with the above painting on your birthday. Your reaction was priceless (and captured on my iPhone). However, I have promised you to "not post it on any form of social media". So, I will honor your request. :) (for now) just so you know that contract expires when you go away to college.

 

When we moved back to NC this Fall, I thought it was  important to get you involved in activities right away. I signed you up for golf, and who would've guessed it, but you were a natural. Your 3 man team won 1st place in the division this year, and you even got your first birdie! Way to go, Dylan! I had fun going with you to your tournaments and watching you act like your golf club was a light saber in between holes. :)

Here is your 9th grade school picture. You definitely changed so much in the past year. You can't see it here, but you have a Captain America shirt on underneath your collared shirt. This picture epitomizes where you are in life right now. You look and sound like a grown man in so many ways, but you are still so little boy underneath all of that knowledge and vocabulary....I still see glimpses of the boy that stole my heart 14 years ago. I am so excited to see where your path may lead.

Happy 14th birthday, Pa!

We are so proud of you every single day, and I count it a blessing to be your Momma!

 

Looking back over the years...

 

thirteen

twelve

eleven

ten

first day of school 2013-2014

Karsen, 6th grade

To quote a friend when she saw this picture, "Watch out Middle School, here comes Karsen!"
Um, you have no idea how happy this girl is to get up each and every morning to go to school. Happy! She was actually less enthusiastic after the 1st day-because they did NOT do any Math. LOL there is time for that sweet girl. Plenty of time. I hope they are ready for her energy and determination. Her goal this year is to  make it into the Honor Society. :)



Dylan, 9th grade

Dylan was very excited about starting High School! He's a freshman.
A freshman that just so happens to be a smidge taller than 6 feet.
He said, "High school is epic", and he LOVES that other kids assume he is a junior.
 P.S. He got glasses!  I had no idea the kid was blind. Seriously.
LOL
He loves them, and I think they suit him.  Hello, Clark Kent. ;)

I am amazed at Dylan and Karsen's uncanny ability to adapt to change.
Not only adapt, but they embrace it and thrive in it.
There is a lesson for me there.
I am very proud of both of them!
 

everything has changed

Oh my word, it has been so long since I have written a blog post. Looking back on this year, I have only written 15 posts this year. It sounds like crickets in here, huh?

Well, anyone that knows me well, would take that as a tell-tell sign that I have not been doing well. If you have wondered that, then you have been right.

Not to be negative, but this year has been a tough one. I have been quiet because there have been things that I don't even have the emotional energy to talk or write about. Also, I have an amazing husband who is deeply private, and I felt like if I couldn't talk about what was going on with him, then I couldn't talk period. I had to respect his privacy.

Long story short. Everything has changed. We are back in NC! Can you believe that? So long, Ohio. We will miss you.

The kids and I said our bittersweet farewell 6 weeks ago, and Chris left two weeks later. This big decision came after much deliberation and prayers (and way too many arguments, if I am being honest here).

We are back in NC! Back in the same house, same school district, same church, and same proximity to our families & friends and the Atlantic Ocean :) (Yes, that matters to me).

Here's a the brief and less scary version of the circumstances that brought us all home.

Chris had a health scare April 9th. He spent several days in the hospital in the Neuro-ICU, and he walked out with so many questions and more uncertainty than a healthy 35 year old man knows what to do with. He is doing fine now. We have followed up with several Neurologists and Cardiologists over the last 5 months, and he is healthy.  He finally has some peace of mind that he is going to be OK. Peace of mind is priceless. A blessing, really. Something that we used to take for granted.

We are thankful for that peace of mind. We are thankful for our little family. We are thankful for his health and mine. We are thankful for happy kids that deserve happy parents. After being faced with the unthinkable, it is very easy to discern between what is important and what needs to change.

We felt led with every fiber of our beings to move back to NC to be closer to our family, friends, and all things familiar. Those 3 things matter so much to us, and we decided that the decision was easy.  Nothing mattered more than following our hearts back home.

So, we are home!
Was it an easy decision? NO.
Did we have doubts? YES.
Do we still have doubts? YES and NO.
Are the kids happy? YES!
Are we going to be OK? YES!

Right now, my heart is full. And we are home. More details about my new job, the kids' new schools, and everything in between to come!

“Look at every path closely and deliberately, then ask ourselves this crucial question: Does this path have a heart? If it does, then the path is good. If it doesn't, it is of no use.”

~Carlos Castaneda

Harbor Island Day 5



Harbor Island, Summer 2013

We had night after night of amazing sunsets

the night we took family pics was no exception

:)

I can't believe how big the kids are compared to this picture

2 years ago...



Harbor Island Summer 2011

and check out this comparison  

Karsen 2011

Her face just cracks me up in this one.  

Karsen 2013

And so focused in this one

Her height definitely improved in the last two years

Way to go, KG!

 

Our kiddos sure are growing up fast.

way too fast

Where is the pause button?

 

You're gonna miss this,  You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
 these are some good times, So take a good look around
 you're gonna miss this
- Ashley Glenn Gorley



 



Harbor Island Day 4 wordless

Harbor Island, SC Summer 2013

Harbor Island Day 3

it's a daily ritual at the island

the shrimps boat come and go

several times throughout the day
and we sit back, relax and watch them

 

 

hard at work
with no seemingly pattern to their course

and with them always come

the dolphins and the pelicans
(so fun to watch) up close
you could even differentiate the fins of the dolphins
and there was one particular dark, and uneven fin
I would look for everyday

 

 and then after a long day

as the sun fades the boats return back to the marina

just to do it all over again tomorrow

 

 

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

-Mark Twain

 

 

 



Harbor Island Day 2

thanks to the tropical storm

the first day consisted of scattered showers

that quickly forced us to run into the house

from the beach

after a long day of back and forth it finally brightened up

and we headed out to explore the island

 

 

 

low tide was the perfect time to walk out

in search of the perfect conch shell

seeing this sight

was one of the highlights of the week for me

do you see the rainbow?

this was our view to the east

and then we turned around to make

our way back to the beach house

 



 

and saw this up ahead

and we kept walking

as it was setting

just showing off for us

and making me remember why this

is my favorite place to be

 

 

I always say that the times in my life when I've been my happiest are the times when I've seen a sunset. -Chris Evans.

Harbor Island Summer 2013 Day 1

 

12 hours after leaving Ohio

we arrive at the gatehouse to check into

our little secret haven for the week

and these flags just made me smile

 

 

I love the great state of South Carolina

the Spanish moss, the palm trees, the dozens of little islands

and I just love their state flag

to pieces

 

 

the first day of our vacation consisted of

arriving and crashing onto the nearest flat surface

in sheer exhaustion

just happy to be in a beautiful place

day 2 was a little more exciting

stay tuned....

fourteen years

Happy 14th Anniversary to us!

Even though everyone told us

we were too young and crazy

I'm so happy we followed our hearts.

 

 

first and last

Hey! We are here. The latest news is Dylan and I just survived 8th grade Algebra. It was touch and go there for a while, but we made it. Sigh* Not without being a little traumatized.

The kids have officially finished another school year. Possibly, the fastest year of our lives to date. Seriously.

Here they are on the their first and last days of School Year 2012-2013.

Karsen, first day of 5th grade Aug 2012



Karsen, last day of 5th grade May 2013

Dylan, first day of 8th grade Aug 2012

Dylan, last day of 8th grad May 2013

This resonates as Karsen all of sudden is going to the 6th grade, and Dylan is officially in high school. *gulp!

"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You." ~Dr Seuss